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(Almost) All Electronic - Riffs and Licks
steelbrassnwood
steelbrassnwood
(Almost) All Electronic
A friend signed up recently to receive her Citibank credit card statement online rather than via postal mail. Seems to make sense, right? Saves paper, saves postage. However, since signing up, she's received every month a letter in the mail that begins,
Your Citibank statement is now available at [URL deleted]. This notification is part of the All-Electronic Program you enrolled in to receive your statements online only instead of in the mail.
It goes on to remind her to keep her contact information currrent, to remember that spam blockers might prevent delivery of the electronic statement, and concludes, "We hope you continue to enjoy the many benefits of the All-Electronic Program."

I don't know that I could say anything to make that more humorous.

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Comments
bobhowe From: bobhowe Date: July 28th, 2005 01:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
One hardly knows what to say. One supposes it depends upon what "paperless" means.
steelbrassnwood From: steelbrassnwood Date: July 28th, 2005 01:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
True. I suppose it would be a bad idea to write and complain about not receiving the paperless statement one was promised. They'd probably start engraving the notice on rare tropical hardwoods, or on rhinoceros skin.
bobhowe From: bobhowe Date: July 28th, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dear Valued Customer:

We have inscribed your latest statement on leopard skin, using spotted owl ink...
From: polytropia Date: August 2nd, 2005 02:15 am (UTC) (Link)
I get the same letter from the folks at Sallie Mae. Only, I get the letter if I'm late on a payment ...it says, 'your bill is now available online!" Why they can't email me to say it's late is beyond me...
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